Four years ago, I was joining in praise and worship during the Sunday service at my church. I was still dealing with all of the emotions of a recent breast cancer diagnosis. This was an overwhelming time filled with uncertainty and impatience. My days and thoughts were filled with doctor consults and researching my best options. I also had a sense of disbelief that I could have cancer when I was considered very healthy — a marathon runner who took care of herself.
Yet, as I sang along that Sunday morning and focused on the words of the song, I began to feel peace. Over the strains of the chorus, I heard God whisper in my ear, “I’ve got this.” With a faint smile, I thought, “Of course You do. You are here with me always, and I feel your presence.” Then, I heard Him again; this time a little stronger. “I’ve GOT this!” That is when the full realization of His sovereignty hit, and I immediately felt His calm wash over me
As a fairly capable and strong-willed female, I often seem to operate as if I am in control. I have managed a busy household with hectic schedules while staying organized and involved with my family. I am a planner, often analyzing the different scenarios and outcomes, yet flexible enough to switch gears when needed. I like to think that I am self-sufficient. However, after my cancer diagnosis (and watching many others navigate this journey), it is quite apparent that I am not in control, and I must continue to press into God for his guidance and strength.
During a time of diagnosis or treatment, there are so many questions going through our minds. A lot of “what ifs” and “how comes.” It can be so draining at a time when we need all of our energy to process, heal and make decisions. We may feel helpless, yet if we have a relationship with God, we can rely on Him for the strength to carry on each day. I often drive cancer patients to appointments and it is hard to understand why so many have to suffer from this disease. I seek to be a physical help to them with logistical support but also to provide encouragement as I have experienced the same types of emotions and roadblocks they may also face.
As I heard God’s voice so clearly in that church service four years ago, it was then that I felt that “complete peace that passeth all understanding.” I had strong faith and knew that my God was always present and would never leave me alone. Yet, the peace I felt then was not because He told me that I would be healed. The peace I felt was knowing that I would be okay however this turned out. Even if the cancer did not go away, God would never abandon me. And that was enough!
I have a calling to begin this blog series for those dealing with cancer or other illness. Through my own journey with cancer, I learned a lot about myself…..what is truly important in life, my limitations and also when to let others help. It is now my time to give back to others on a similar path. I hope my words will be an encouragement and I pray for the same strength and peace for others that He gave me as He whispers to us, “I’ve got this!”